12
by Yuki KIKI
Summary: Yet another look at the relationship between father and son... only (for a change of pace) told from Membranes POV.


_A/N: Bleg. This fic sucks. Really sucks. But the idea has been kicking around in my head for a while now, and I know it won't go away until I throw it out here. This is just pure regurgitated mind-mess, crappily written in one night. I know the plot is overdone, but I just wanted to throw in my two cents worth (and that's about all my crap interpretations are worth)._

_Disclaimer: The song/lyrics "Drive You Home" belong to 'Garbage', and Jhonen Vasquez/Nickelodeon own Invader Zim... bastards..._

**)) 12 ((**

It was such a beautiful day. The sun shone brilliantly in the cloudless blue sky, the leaves of the lush willows whispered softly as a gentle breeze flowed through their weeping branches. The tall, imposing figure paused for a moment to take it in, his heavily booted feet sinking into the thick, well kept grass. Such a beautiful day indeed.

It was his son's birthday today.

_)) It's funny how_

_Even now_

_You still support me after all the things that I've done_

_You're so good to me_

_Waiting patiently_

_And isn't it sad that you still have to ask if I care? ((_

The door creaked closed, the young man wearily kicked off his boots and leaned heavily against the frame- these ungodly shifts were going to be the death of him, but he couldn't quit now, not when he was so close to a breakthrough! If only his foolish superior would let him mix the chemicals as he had calculated...He sighed heavily, if he ever became a top scientist, he would at least have the dignity to listen to his assistants once in a while! He shook his head and tiredly stumbled down the hall. He could almost hear his big fluffy pillow calling out to him...  
But wait, someone had left the kitchen light on, and wasted electricity was no laughing matter! That was this fragile planets precious non-renewable resources being needlessly burned away! His posture straightened as he marched over to the other room, reaching a gloved hand inside to flick off the switch...And then he saw him...  
The little one was curled up on his chair, head slumped forward into his small arms, his chest rising and falling rhythmically as he slept. As he dreamed. His child...Membrane quirked an eyebrow under his goggles as he glanced at the flashing microwave clock- it was almost three in the morning, why on earth wasn't Dib put to bed? He would have to have a word with the babysitter for this...  
With a deep sigh he leaned over and scooped the small child up into his arms, the tiny boy easily snuggling into the crook of his elbow. And with that he swept up the stairs. He didn't even notice the brightly coloured paper plate holding a slightly dilapidated piece of cake, one lone half-melted candle sadly crowning the chunk of chocolate pastry as it sat at his end of the table.

_)) I never said I was perfect..._

_But I can take you away ((_

"But it's _not_ stupid dad! The fate of the entire world rests on me checking this stuff!" exclaimed the irritated 11 year old as he thrust forward a tube full of pussy green... stuff. Membrane gave him a flat look before returning to his work, whatever foolishness his poor insane son was up to now would just have to wait until he finished this project. The younger boy huffed lightly to himself and crossed his arms, effectively working his way into a pout. Membrane groaned inwardly, it was going to be 'one of those times'...

"Son, I've told you not to use my equipment for your Para science. It's extremely fragile, and one miscalculation on your part would upset the entire scope! And then what will we do when it is _truly_ needed?" This apparently wasn't what the Dib had really wanted to hear, as his face darkened slightly.

"It's nice to know you care more about your stupid stuff than the fate of the world dad."

"No son, I care about my equipment because the fate of the world _depends_ on it functioning properly!" he waggled a finger at the boy before swiftly turning back to his work.

"It's nice to know you care more about your stupid stuff than your son, _dad_." Dib grumbled darkly to himself as he turned and trudged dejectedly back up the stairs.

The older man paused for a moment, lips pursing tightly under his high collar, but it wasn't long till the moment passed, and the sparks flew once more. Dib was still just a child, he was sure the boy would understand.

...Someday.

_)) Walk on shells tonight_

_Can't do right tonight_

_And you can't say a word_

'_Cause I'll leap down your throat_

_So uptight am I ((_

The professor offhandedly popped the batteries out of his beeper, he was definitely not going to allow himself to be bothered by his work today. At least not right now, not until he'd finished with his son anyway. He smiled absently to himself as he began to trudge along again, the scenery that had been so captivating before easily being pushed to the back of his (brilliant!) mind. 12. It was a big moment in a child's life. Well, not really...

Actually, if you thought about it, it was, in a way. It was the last year one could call themselves a 'child', when one turned 13, you were then a teenager.

12 was the death of childhood. He chuckled lightly to himself, no, that was stupid. The only reason today was special was because, well-

As painful as it was to admit, it was the first birthday he wasn't going to miss.

_)) I never said I was perfect..._

_But I can drive you home ((_

Membrane was jolted awake by the shrill beeping of his alarm. Time for work. Again. He groaned heavily and buried his face in his pillow. Urg, he just wanted to _sleep_... The worst part about mornings was that they came to early... He briefly considered calling in sick, but found himself slowly rolling out of bed even as he tossed the notion around his brain. He sighed dejectedly, who was he kidding, he _had_ to go in- The fate of the world depended on it!

...All he needed was about seven cups of coffee and he should be wired enough to make it till lunchtime... He pulled on his coat and marched (as well as one can after a grand total of 2 hours sleep) into the darkened hallway and down the stairs. He slinked into the kitchen to grab a glass of milk (trying to compensate for the havoc all that coffee _must _be reeking on his poor bones), where he finally noticed the one chunk of cake sitting daintily at his chair. It took a moment for his tired brain to comprehend the significance, but his confusion was soon replaced with gut-wrenching realization;

Dibs birthday.

He'd missed Dibs birthday. His son had turned four, and he hadn't been there... He gaze drifted towards the staircase. That must have been... a shock for the little one, especially so soon after his mother...

But no, now was not the time to dwell on such matters, he had to get to work!

Yet still, he made no further movement towards the door, instead stood and gazed longingly up the stairs. In his mind he could see his sons small face, eyes closed delicately and his wild hair strewn about his pillow, another year older, different, yet still the same.

He wondered, if he were to run up and check, if those angelic cheeks were wet , if those soulful amber eyes were puffy and red...

Instead he hauled on his boots and left, tiptoeing as quietly as possible, as if in fear of awaking the small boy he'd just betrayed. A detached part of him distantly mused how long the little boy would be little, and how long it would be before it was Membrane himself waiting patiently at the table for his son to remember him...

_)) I got down on myself_

_Working too hard_

_Driving myself to death_

_Trying to beat out the faults in my head_

_What a mess I've made_

_Sure we all make mistakes_

_But they see me so large that they think I'm immune_

_To the pain ((_

"And where do you think you're off to at this hour young man?" Dib glanced up, his face betraying everything. Membrane smiled inwardly, if there was one thing about his son, he was easy to read. The boy stuttered for a moment before nervously glancing up at his fathers face.

"Well, Zim has been-"Membrane rolled his eyes. Zim. Again.

"Son, what have I told you about this paranormal nonsense! That poor boy must have enough trouble trying to adjust after coming from another country, and enough trouble fitting in with his _grotesquely_ green skin-"

"He's an _alien_!"

"Son! No more foolishness! I want you to stop with this absurd game and-"

"It's _not_ a _game_ dad!" Membrane fell silent at the force behind his sons voice. "It's _not_ some stupid _game_!" his voice cracked as he continued "Even if it was, would it _kill_ you to show a little _support_ for once?" There was no malice, no anger, just a little boy. A lost little boy crying out for the affection and acceptance Membrane himself denied him. Membrane felt the ice fill his veins as he stared down into his only sons watery eyes. Dib blinked and swallowed thickly, refusing to cry in front of him. When the older man made no further objections, Dib bowed his head slightly, the torn atmosphere weighing down on them both.

"I'm sorry." He whispered softly, almost inaudibly before slipping off into the inky black night.

Membrane sat heavily in his chair, the shock choking any retort he might have made. Had he... Had he really grown so far apart from his own children? A small part of him laughed cruelly at the bittersweet irony- He, who so easily unfolded the mysteries of the universe, couldn't even comprehend his only son... What was even worse, and he hated himself for it, was that he knew nothing would change. Nothing could change. They'd settled into their roles, and not even he, the greatest scientist on the planet, could bend the rules.

He could change the world.

But he could never change himself.

_)) Walk on shells tonight_

_Can't do right tonight_

_And you can't say a word_

'_Cause I'll leap down your throat_

_So uptight am I ((_

He coughed as discreetly as he could into his hand, a lump beginning to form in his throat. He was okay, everyone walked this same path at some point in their lives didn't they? He would not... He could not afford to break down. Not yet, he still had to tell his son, still had to tell his Dib the very thing he'd never gotten the privilege to hear from his father. He would prove he was a better father, would prove it because his children deserved a better father. A cool, gloved hand swept over his brow.

Almost there.

Suddenly he felt very awkward for not bringing anything...

_)) I'm praying for a miracle..._

_But I won't hold my breath ((_

He hunched over his latest invention. Well, it hadn't quite moved past the 'shapeless hunk of metal' stage quite yet, but it wouldn't be too long until he pieced something together.

"_Even if it was, would it kill you to show a little support for once?"_

The professor's eyes narrowed behind his goggles, guilt tying his stomach in knots- Unfortunately it was a feeling he wasn't unfamiliar with. He paused in his work, then dropped the wielding torch with a heavy sigh. He wouldn't be able to concentrate tonight.

When Dib got home he would... apologize. He supposed. Well, it couldn't hurt. Maybe even...

Dibs birthday was coming up wasn't it? He would be... 12. He smirked slightly behind his coat as an idea began to tickle the back of his mind.

"Simmons, check my schedule for next week." He nodded his head occasionally as his assistant rambled on in his ear.

He was drawn from his thoughts when the phone rang.

There had been an accident.

_)) I never said I was perfect...((_

Membrane shuffled his feet in discomfort, eyes darting around, taking in everything everywhere besides what lay in front of him. Realizing how foolish he must have looked, he settled for gazing intently at a clump of dirt by his boot.

It was a nice enough spot his supposed. Nothing too spectacular to really differentiate it from the other lines of cold stone monuments. He shuffled his feet again and swallowed thickly, the lump welling in his throat again, threatening to choke off his air. Now he really did wish he'd brought something... But no, that's not why he was here. Again. He gave the small stone a half-hearted smirk (not that you could tell). Did Dib know just how many times he'd walked that path to stand in this spot? Did he know how many times he'd turned away again and left without a word? Or the shame he felt for running away time and time again because of a monster inside of him he dared not name? He straightened. No. Today was different.

'Today would be your birthday' sneered a dark part of him bitterly. Membrane reached up to rub his eye and was mildly surprised to see the glove was damp when he pulled it away. He owed him... at least owed him this... His trembling lips parted, the words he'd bottled up inside for so long finally whispered

"I'm proud of you son."

_)) But can you take me home? ((_

Ending Rant.

Urg. That sucked so much... I'm truly sorry whoever had the misfortune of stumbling across this one XP It kinda (totally) fell apart at the end there (not like it was flowing very smoothly to begin with).

Yeah. I always kinda thought Membrane did care about his kids... He just isn't very good at showing it -.- And the song was _him_, bang on. Arg. Now I feel kinda bad for disgracing one of my favourite (slow) songs...


End file.
